


Zero-Gravity

by kirschtrash



Series: JeanMarco Week [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: After-life, After-life AU, Angst, Day 1: Zero-gravity, JeanMarco Week, M/M, One-Shot, POV Jean Kirstein, cosmos - Freeform, galaxy, jean kirstein - Freeform, marco bott - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 15:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2473481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschtrash/pseuds/kirschtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This place does not exist in a materialistic form; it is a phase or a zone where celestial beings or souls transfer from one life to the other. We call this zone, 'o gravitatem', or 'zero-gravity', in simpler words. Here, the soul that leaves the vessel in one life goes to the other life. But to do that, the soul has to decide first; stay, or move on?"</p><p>Where Jean and Marco finally reunite on uncertain grounds, and now have to make one more decision that could make or break their future together.</p><p>Day 1 of the JeanMarco week: 'Zero-Gravity'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zero-Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first day of the JeanMarco week!  
> Day 1: Zero Gravity
> 
> *DON'T BLAME ME FOR MAKING THIS IRRELEVANTLY TOO ABSTRACT OKAY I LOVED THIS IDEA*

_**Zero-Gravity** _

 

_So this is how it will end…_

This poisonous thought keeps lingering in my mind as I take in panting gasps to support my failing lungs. Blood is seeping through my mouth, nose, neck, back, everywhere. The pain is unbearable; like everything inside of me was burning. I cannot feel my legs, or my arms. I lay helpless, against a tree in the Forest of Big Trees, desperately wanting someone to help me.

But even I know no one would come; ever since the mass of Titans ambushed us, we were left helpless with only our left-over resources. Everyone scattered here and there; either to defend themselves, or maybe they were too fucking scared. Many died in front of me; trampled, crushed, or eaten. Right in front of me.

But I kept moving on; I had seen enough people die as it is. I killed one Titan after another, until I was smashed by one. And here I was; life leaving my useless body.

This is how it will end: me, alone; alone here in this dark and scary place with huge trees looming over me. It gets colder as my mind felt fuzzier and light. I knew life was leaving for good. I did not bother to try and control the tears streaming down my face because now the end was inevitable: I, Jean Kirschtein, was about to die.

Tears fall even more as I remember all the moments, all the glory, all the bad and good times now ceasing to exist as just a mere memory which would be forgotten with the flow of the Universe.

I remember all my friends: half of which who would have died, and some who had already. Like Marco.

Marco died alone too. He must have been bloody and beaten like I am, leaning against the house where he lay, and just desperately crying out for someone to be with him, and make his pain bearable.

I let out a scream that cuts through the silence of the night: at that moment I realize exactly how he must have felt, when no one was there to help him. I hate myself for not being there with him, and instead of that, I cowardly ran away from the Titan, abandoning the friend that helped me in the first place.

I look up at the night sky. There seems to be like the whole Universe was visible from where I saw it; there were so many stars, all in shiny clusters. It gave me some peace.

Slowly, everything began zoning out; my time had come. My breaths become lesser and lesser. My soul from within felt like something was tugging at it, like a string, guiding me out of my broken vessel. Gravity did not seem to work on me anymore; I was floating now, up, up, up in to the stars.

Everything turns white.

 

* * *

 

I open my eyes, to see I was floating within Space.

I look up to see stars - literally everywhere.  I am literally suspended horizontally within the Universe; stars surround me from up, below, and all my sides. I turn to my left and right, and see stars, all clustered in to shiny balls, some turning slowly, and some whizzing to and fro. The colors that I could see were amazing; I could see plumes of purple, dark blue, white, pink, and red everywhere, all mixed with the black.

I reach a hand to touch one tiny star, hovering right in front of me. I touch it gingerly, and instantly it burst in to tiny balls of light, all swirling and then diminishing.

As I look down, fear creeps in me when I see nothing but a black mass of never-ending nothingness; hollow, empty, and plain scary.

I turn myself up, and see that no longer am I wearing my Survey Corps; I am wearing my plain crisp white buttoned shirt, the collars suspended, with brown pants. My feet were bare, my knees bent to keep my feet away from the emptiness underneath me. The place seemed to have no force to keep me attracted; like a zero-gravity zone.

I feel my face, arms and neck and am in shock: I... had just died.

_Where am I?_

Panic surges through me like wildfire, as I search near and far for someone - anyone - who could explain just what the hell is going on. Dread creeps in to my limbs, and I bow my head in defeat, as I think the inevitable: _Was I going to stay here alone... possibly forever?  
_

Just as the thought crosses my mind, I see a man looking down at the black abyss. He wore a brown shirt with black pants. I didn't even notice him there. He was looking rather intently at the black mass; contemplating what would happen if he went in.

I flail my arms and kick my legs to move myself downwards. I face the guy's back, and nudge his shoulder.

He turns slowly, and then he reveals his face...

...with freckles and brown eyes.

 

It was Marco.

 

My eyes grow wide in shock. So does his.

He gets off the swing, turns straight and just stares at me. I stare at him too.

I don't use the regular "hi's" and "hello's"; I hug him, hard. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and instantly I start crying. He wraps his arms around my waist and he nuzzles his face in my neck. I hear his broken sobs too. We both sob loudly as we reunite after so many years. I missed his smile, his laugh, his brown eyes, his pep talks, and his good aura that made my life less miserable.

"M-marco. How did you-"

"I don't know. I don't know. My d-death was... sudden." he says, his voice cracking at the last bit.

I wipe his tears and hug him again. I have been missing him for too long. We have been apart for too long.

"Where are we?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Nowhere."

"Nowhere?" I ask,  quizzically.

He sniffles, and _smiles_ (bless his soul). He says, "No, not 'nowhere', _Nowhere_ ; its the place between Life on Earth and after that; the zone between consciousness and the after-life, where us souls go after our time is done."

I shake my head, disbelievingly. "So what, like the Heaven and Hell business?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I didn't go that far." he says, holding a cluster of stars that were hovering in his left hand, and looking at it.

"' _Go that far'_? What do you mean?" I ask.

"You get a choice: you either go forward in to the After-life, or stay suspended here, and wait for your loved ones to come. Most people go forward; its much better. People who wait tend to go crazy by waiting for too long. Some who wait for a hundred years even vanish; I saw that myself."

I look at him intently, and ask, "Why did you stay?"

"I was waiting..." he trails, still looking at his left side.

"For who." I demand.

He looks at me with a serious look, and says, "You."

I go blank, my arms go slack, and my mouth hangs open.

I hold his shoulders and furiously shake them, and shout, "Have you gone crazy, Marco?! You would rather wait fucking ten years for me to die first, and not care for your sanity?! You'd rather wait for an unworthy piece of shit like me, and not be in peace?! Huh? Tell me!"

"If I went anyway, we would never see each other again." he shouts, louder. He clenched his fist around the stars in his hand in anger, and now they burst, sending little balls of light swirling around us, until they diminished. I stay silent, staring at him.

He continues, "If I had gone there, I would have gone to another life, and could never be with you. I'd rather wait ten years - and even more - if only we could unite once again. It wouldn't be the same, Jean."

We both were panting. I could not believe him. I stare at him to find some reason, some point, some _thing_ , that would make some fucking sense.

The light of the small stars dancing around us illuminates his eyes. They seemed to be golden, and _there_ , I saw just how much he meant it when he said it; he couldn't bare to move on without me. He was more than willing to wait for as many years as he could; as long as he was with me. I could see all that when I saw the tense lines around his eyes ease when he saw me here for the first time. The thought made me shiver.

He wipes the tear that sticks to my right cheek. He lightly kisses my forehead, and leans his forehead against mine. I close my eyes to the soft, subtle touch.

"How did you manage?" I ask, my voice weak.

 "I just held on to our memories of our past-life; that way, you don't go crazy. Other souls tend to regret their decision of staying, so that's why they went crazy, and even vanished. Even I regretted my decision at times too, but I decided not to give in; I had to wait, because I knew you'd come one day." he explains. He looks up at me, and gives me a hopeful smile.

The amount of dedication he had back then... It is too over-whelming for me, and it takes all my will-power to not fall in to a puddle of tears again.

I sniffle, and ask, "So, what now?"

"She's gonna come anytime now..." he trails.

I was about to ask about the 'she', but I am interrupted by a bright blinding white light shining in front of us. We back away, shielding our eyes from the rays watering my eyes. When the rays' intensity diminishes, I look up to see that the light had transformed itself in to a lady.

She was beautiful; with long jet-black hair rippling from every corner, and bright violet eyes that stood out from her pale skin. She wore a white, silk dress that hid her feet. She gracefully folded her arms in front of her, as she hovered patiently in front of us. Her mouth was in a soft smile, and her long eye-lashes swept at her cheeks as she blinked slowly.

"Hello, Jean and Marco," she begins, her voice echoing, and so powerful that you fall in to a trance.

She continues, "I am _Et Irascens_ ; The Transporter. To clear your confusion, Jean, I'll let you know what this place is. This place does not exist in a materialistic form; it is a phase or a zone where celestial beings or souls transfer from one life to the other. We call this zone, ' _o gravitatem_ ', or 'zero-gravity', in simpler words. Here, the soul that leaves the vessel in one life goes to the other life. But to do that, the soul has to decide first; stay, or move on?

So now, I ask you both: what do you choose? Will you stay here, like Marco did, or will you both proceed further, together? I'll warn you; both choices have their consequences: if you move on, all previous memories will be erased. If you stay, you are more likely to grow unstable, and in the end, will vanish. So, choose wisely."

I look down, and just contemplate all that happened with me; of course I wanted to move on, but what of all the memories I still have of my past life? What of them? Will they just cease to exist, forgotten?They are too precious to just let go of. I just can't seem to leave them all behind.

I look at him, and start muttering, "But what of the-the past-"

He cuts me off by saying, "The past is in the past, Jean. I let go of my memories too, and so should you. They'll only claw at you. And besides," he says, turning back.

"The others are gonna continue your legacy; even _our_ legacy. I know it. I can feel it. I know that they're gonna remember us, and they'll never forget us, for sure. They'll keep us and our memories alive." he completed, tangling his hand in to mine.

I look back where he was looking once. All I saw were the stars swirling. And then I look forward, making up my mind to finally let go. And once I do, I'm mentally lighter and free. Like gravity is no longer attracting the old worries and problems; my mind has also turned in to a zero-gravity zone.

"Have you two chosen?" she asks.

Marco looks at me, and asks, "Together?"

I nod, "Together."

We squeeze each other's hands. The lady nods, and turns in to the same bright white light, growing big and big, so that we can pass through.

We look at each other once more. He smiles at me, and I smile back.

And together, we step in to the Further.

_Together._

* * *

 

_[psssst I have a tumblr](http://captaink-irschtein.tumblr.com/) _

**Author's Note:**

> So, yup. Didn't want it to turn out this angst-y, but oh well ;_;
> 
> Look out for Day 2: Olympus!


End file.
